Random Blogger Musings

Just some blogging confessions for the day. Over the years I have started many blogs and honestly never kept up with them. I usually never write more than 5 blog posts because I think I just get bored with it really fast. I think the subject matter for me, was really not interesting or fun enough. With this blog, I am talking writing about things that I like to talk about and subject matter that really interests me. When I was kid I wanted to be a veterinarian for like ever and when I got older and went to college I decided I didn’t really want to operate on animals and I switched my major. I really wanted to be a movie critic or work in the entertainment world, in some way, really any job being involved with the making or talking about movies was what I wanted.

People said it would be too hard to get into the field, regardless I took a lot of film classes and courses in writing about film. Still, I didn’t believe in myself. Perhaps those were my own insecurities. Another love of my mine is art history, so I decided I would pursue that instead and meld that with my writing.

I decided to get a Master's in Rhetoric and Writing and I was actually going to write my thesis on the rhetoric with the art work that was confiscated during Hitler’s regime. Funnily enough, kind of like the Monuments Men movie that is out right, which I really want to go see when I get a free day. I started it and I did so much research, but I decided to test out of school instead of finishing my thesis, I was seriously so sick at that point of being in school. I had previously done a large chunk of a different thesis on beatnik writers, so working on my second, I was really burnt out.

I applied for a bunch of different Art History jobs, Christie's in New York, applied to schools to get my Phd in Art History and again it just didn’t end up working out for various reasons. I feel like I was so tired at that point of trying, rejection, being poor and tired of pushing myself. I decided to take a regular corporate job and have had various ones since.

Let me just say it is not fun at all and I sometimes kick myself for not keeping on and just doing what I wanted to with my life, which was work in film. Instead of taking all these random routes, but really I didn't know what the fck I was doing.

That being said, this blogging platform has been working out great for me. I love writing about this type of stuff, I feel like a loser, like I watch too much TV and movies, but oh well, I really do not care at this point.

The hardest part right now for me is that I do work a full time job and I am trying to figure out how to write more often and make my work more condensed. Specifically with my TV recaps, so I think I am going to start to do quick blurbs and focus more on the movie reviews, which I find much more fun.

I really just wrote this blog post randomly, just talking out loud I guess. :)

}}Melissa